I'm used to be on my own

I'm used to be on my own. When I'm sick, I take care of myself. When I'm happy, I kept my happiness to myself. When I'm sad, depressed, lonely, anxious, down etc. I always deal with whatever feeling myself. Sometimes, I did show what I felt or what happen to me, just to see if anyone care. But most of the time, it's all secret that not even a single soul know about them. There was times that I'm feeling so down and depressed, mix emotion to the point that I want to just give it all up. But luckily, I don't. I bounced back. I always did. It might take few hours, or weeks, but I always found a way to pull myself back from the dark side. Can't deny it, that sometime, I do afraid that maybe sometime, I couldn't find a way to get up and give in. And that time, I wish I have someone who can pull me out. And now that I have someone that I should count on, I terrified by their presence. I'm so used be on my own. I'm doing everything by myself. So the question always wander on my mind. 'If I let him in, if I let him take care of me, if I put my trust on him to always pull me out, what if I'm used to have him then? And one day, he's no longer with me or one day he's grow tired of me and vanish from my life. What would happen to me? Would i remember how to pull myself again?'